The decade has ended! Well, not really, but a lot of stupid sportswriters seem to think so (there's actually a whole 'nother year to go, morons). As a result, there's been a lot of "of the decade" awards handed out lately. Now, this website isn't really about going with the trends, especially when they involve being a retard, but, since enough of my uneducated readers have requested it, I'm making my own 'end of the decade awards'. Actually, screw that. There's only one award that actually matters when discussing unfinished decades: The Biggest Loser of the Decade.

Choosing a winner is difficult. As far as I'm concerned, there are four main candidates: Allen Iverson, Stephon Marbury, Gilbert Arenas, and Tracy McFailure. Injury victims, like Jay Williams and Greg Oden, don't count, because their careers are more depressing than pathetic. Let's start with the man nicknamed AI, because even the lowest forms of human intelligence are above this...

... and because his initials are AI. Although Iverson seems like a nice enough guy outside his job and possible criminal activity, he has managed to show his inability to live up to his stuperstar status more than almost any popular player to ever play the game. After one great season, which brought him his now undying popularity, Iverson has accomplished worse than nothing. What has he been "the answer" to? I guess... What "superstar" has managed to screw up every team he's joined in his career? "The Answer" has managed to take a giant dump on three NBA franchises: The 76ers (who he blamed for his shit playing, and requested a trade away from), The Nuggets (the team the 76ers traded him to, who were better before and after his time there), and the Detroit Pistons (who were one of the top teams all decade, until they gave up their good point guard for this overrated wash-up). Oh, and he wasn't good enough to beat out 5 Grizzlies for a starting position, which is just depressing. Now, he's back to sucking with the 76ers, the way he did for many years before. It's a pretty sad way to end a pretty sad career.

Don't get me wrong. I think Iverson is extremely talented, and I respect any player who manages to make himself known in the NBA despite only being an inch taller than me. My main problem with Iverson is his ongoing demand to be a starter, despite getting NOTHING done since 2001. Pretty much, any person who gets paid millions of dollars to play a child's game should be grateful. Iverson's been a whiney bitch for the last few years, though, and that's just unacceptable.

Then there's Tracy McPieceofShit. Just hearing that name or any variation of it makes me want to play NBA 2K, select the bastard, and purposely injure him. Then again, T-Mac's at his best when he's injured, because at least then he isn't giving up or blaming his team for his inevitable failure. Don't get me wrong. I know that this douchebag has a lot of abilities, but winning and not being a bitch aren't two of them.

On a side note, those two losers are currently on their way to starting in the All-Star game because of how stupid so many NBA fans are. It's pathetic. I mean, McFailure makes sense, because of what I explained in my ... fifth-ever article for this website:

Obviously, Chinese people don't know anyone other than Chinese players and their shitty teammates. The problem is, they should hate T-Hack for ruining Yao Ming's career. While Yao was on the court, playing his heart out, regardless of whether or not his foot was freaking broken, McGrady took a piss. Why Chinese people want to reward familiarity makes zero sense to me. The worst are Americans who vote for him, because ignorance just isn't a good excuse here. Honestly, if Steve Nash doesn't end up winning the vote over this pissball, I might just abandon the site after posting a scan of my middle finger.

Then there's the idiots voting for Iverson. While Iverson winning out isn't as much of a crime, seeing as the east isn't nearly as loaded with good guards as the west, it'll still be pretty pathetic to see such a crappy player starting on the all-star team. It's not like he's entertaining, the way Shaq is. He's just a loser, and people are voting for him over Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, Derek Rose, and a bunch of other mediocre stars (Iverson isn't good enough to be called mediocre these days).

Oh, and if you haven't seen Steve Nash's all-star advertisment, you should check it out...

Hilarious.

So, what about Stephon Marbury? Well, he's so sad that I don't really want to write anything about him. He's seriously not worth anyone's time anymore. He's not playing (then again, neither is T-Mac), and whenever I see him on TV, he's being laughed at. He's kind of like a fat person falling off a bike. You feel a little sorry for him, but since his fatness is his own doing, you allow yourself to chuckle.

Then there's Gilbert Arenas. After having one legitimately great season, he followed in Allen Iverson's footsteps, started to suck, and turned on his team time and time again. Sometimes, with a gun, apparently!

That's CRAZY. Not only is he a loser, but he's a loser who deserves to be locked up.

So, what's the verdict? Well, one of my buddies on Twitter (Dirknight) pointed that Iverson, unlike the rest of these pathetic bastards, played through injury many times in his career, and that's pretty badass. Unlike the other candidates, Tracy McDouche wasn't ever a criminal, so he has that going for him. Lastly, Stephon Marbury wasn't ever really cool (only morons ever saw potential in him), so, while he might be the most pathetic player in some ways, he hasn't necessarily lost much. He kinda just stayed the same, and people slowly caught on to his patheticness. So, my vote ultimately has to go to Gilbert Arenas. Maybe if the decade really did end with the start of this year, and I didn't take that INSANE gun-pulling shit into account, which was reported January 1st, Gilbert could have avoided being labeled...

Sadly for him, I know that there wasn't a year 0, so he is what he is. Then again, there's still another year left this decade for anyone to catch up. I can't wait to see what kind of crap the coming year brings!

(By the way, if you disagree with the decision, send me an email, and give some decent reasoning. If you convince me, I'll post your email. After all, I'm sure there are many horrible things I've neglected to say about all four of these bitches.)

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-Vlad